You Carry Me Home
by thevoicesilencedxXx
Summary: Matt and Mello have been best friends for most of their lives. When Mello agrees to help Near stop Kira he is reluctant to tell his friend. MxM.  One shot


**Disclaimer: **As you all know, I do not own Death Note or any of the characters in this story. Matt and Mello and the plot of Death Note belong to their rightful creators. I do not own the lyrics or rights to the song this one shot was inspired by.

**You Carry Me Home**

_"And all that we build,_

_and all that we breathe,_

_and all that we spilt, _

_or pulled up like weeds_

_is piled up in back,_

_and burns irrevocably."_

Sadie_ - _Joanna Newsom

_Our love will never grow cold, only taciturn. . ._

Their apartment was silent except for the buzz of the television screen. Mello stood in the kitchen with his hands pressed on the counter. He was staring out the window, lost in his thoughts.

Burdened, as he had been for sometime, he remembered the place they had grown up. Whammy's House. It seemed like a distant dream to him now. Or perhaps a nightmare. At least there they weren't in constant danger.

He was reluctant as he looked over his should at his best friend. Matt sat on the edge of the couch, pressing the buttons on a game controller. Cigarette smoke danced around the redhead, shrouding him. There was a glare across his goggles, keeping his eyes hidden from view.

He was right there, but it felt like he was a million miles away.

The blonde heaved an annoyed sigh and walked in front of the television, to the bedroom the two of them shared. He flopped down on the mattress, laying on his side and staring at the white wall through his hair.

'When was the last time I wasn't demanding him to do something when we spoke?' Mello pondered, closing his emerald eyes. As he laid there he tried to drift to sleep, but his brain wouldn't quiet down.

His mind wandered to that phone call. How could he break the news to Matt? Would it be easy or would it be hard? There was no way of telling. There hardly ever was when the gamer was in question. Maybe that was what Mello liked...

The bed sank behind Mello, causing him to open one eye. He could smell the smoke. There was a wrapped candy bar dangling in front of his face, but he only stared for a moment. He didn't want it. He really didn't want it. Reaching out weakly, Mello took the candy bar from his friend and let it fall to the bed beside him. Matt laid his hand on the blondes forehead in surprise, checking his temperature.

"You sick?"

"I'm fine, Matt." Mello growled, shortly.

He sighed and tugged off his gloves and pulled his goggles down so they hung around his neck. Mello knew he could tell there was something wrong. They'd only been friends close to their entire lives. It was an inconvenience in many ways.

Matt laid down, wrapping his arms around Mello's stomach and resting his head in his hair. Mello shifted, trying to keep from looking at him. He couldn't. Not after what he agreed to. He was putting Matt in danger and he knew that very well. It didn't matter if this was the end for him. He had to protect Matt. He was older.

Matt ran a finger over the burn that covered the left side of Mello's face. It was a constant reminder of what was at stake. The scarred tissue saw to a change in Mello. He was no longer the boy who hated the world and attacked it like wild fire.

He had learned his lesson. No more would he play with flame. He had become a smoldering flicker among the coals of a dying fire. He hated the world in silence. He pitied them.

"I'm taking one last lunge at Kira."

_All day long we talk about mercy. . ._

"You, working with Near?" Matt was appalled.

"It's the only way. He sees that, too."

"It's so unlike you."

"This is the only way."

"Well, what's the plan?"

"You'll serve as a distraction, allowing me to kidnap Takada."

"From there?"

Mello was silent. Which allowed Matt to fill in the blanks. He was intelligent enough to understand that Mello wouldn't be coming back from this mission.

"So you forfeit."

"There is no other option."

"There could be."

"We don't have the time for that."

"And why not?" Matt's fuse was growing short.

"You want to leave Kira unopposed? Allowing people to die just because the bastard thinks they deserve to? Allow that bastard to play God?" Mello growled.

There was a long silence between them.

"When?" Matt asked, finally, after a cigarette.

"Two days."

"There's no other way?"

"No."

"Fine."

"Besides, you're going to be fine."

_The notion that these lives do never end. . ._

It had been a drunken goodbye. They both had too much pride to admit anything sober. And maybe most people thought it was wrong. But they didn't care. They had never cared before, so why should they start when the end was drawing so close at hand?

Maybe they kissed. Maybe they did more. It was no one's business but their own.

Matt would have followed Mello anywhere. Mello wouldn't have even had to tell him the truth. He could have lied. Matt wouldn't have cared. They were best friends. Maybe something more. Neither of them could seem to decide.

It was a sickening thing for Mello watching Matt die on that monitor. And suddenly, his fate didn't seem half as bad. And suddenly, he regretted nothing.

xEndx

I thought the ending was dreadful, but a friend of mine assures me it was fine.

This is my first completed anime one shot. Tell me what you think in a review~


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